Saturday, June 28, 2014

Hugged by Lo

Hello lovelies!


So I am bringing you two more stories! Hope you all enjoy and, remember, you guys can comment and give your input as well! Also, if you want to be "Hugged by Lo" you can send your story to @richkiddiaries@gmail.com

QUESTION

Brandy asks:

Hey Lauren,

I wanted to vent about my pregnancy and stress. Hopefully I will be able to be hugged by lo :)
So I'm 23 weeks pregnant, I work full time at a new job. At first it wasn't stressful, but now people are quitting left and right. I go to the dr a lot because my pregnancy is high risk from me having hypertension already. My bf's mom believes that I'm ungrateful because I don't smile all the time. She came over one evening after I had been out all day. Instead of keeping the visit short, the whole family stayed for like forever. I was already irritated too. Grrrr!!! Hell I didn't smile all the time before, didn't mean I wasn't happy. I really need a hug and a belly rub because everyone around me is nuts!


RESPONSE

Hi, Brandy! Congratulations on your pregnancy! (once again :)) So glad you reached out and got to vent. Sometimes (read most times) we need to vent just so that we don't implode. Pregnancy should be a time where we as women feel our most beautiful. Instead, it's the time where our hormones are going haywire and sometimes we don't know whether we want to cry, sleep, or laugh hysterically. Working full time while pregnant can be very demanding on the body; especially one that is cultivating a human being. You mentioned that you visit the doctor a lot because of previous health issues and. as you already know, it is very important to maintain a healthy diet. When women find out they're pregnant, it's like an alert goes off saying we can now stuff whatever food we'd like in our mouths! Not. True. But, I'll save my lecture for another day; don't want to add to your stress :) Honestly though, if you eat well, you will find that you are energized and in a better mood overall. As far as your family (or boyfriend's family) goes, it is sometimes hard for others to understand what we're going through internally. Maybe you need to have a talk with your boyfriend's mother and let her know that you are feeling stressed out; she may be understanding (hopefully). When we're pregnant, we need all the support we can get. Pregnancy can be an emotional rollercoaster and it's best that those around you understand that and give you your space. I know it can be difficult, but just try and take a deep breath, exhale, and calm down. If that doesn't work, get outside; take a breather so that you can clear your mind. Also, sometimes it helped for me to think about my little bundle of joy all nestled in my tummy; almost immediately, a smile would spread across my face. In the meantime, I am giving you a huge hug AND a belly rub! Love you, Brandy! XOXO


QUESTION

Asia asks:

Hi Lauren,

I am really excited about this section of your blog. Mainly because I always have too much going on in my head. Let the Lol...
I am attempting to move to New York. I've been attempting this move for two months now. It seems as though nothing is working out. I know you are probably wondering why I would want to go to NY without any savings or a clear concise plan. Primarily because It takes forever for me to make a decision. And just when I make a decision, I can't stick to it because everything you can imagine starts happening. My original plan was to move to New York and transfer from my job at Saks to the Saks in NY but that didn't workout. You know what they say... "you wanna make God laugh, tell him your plans" Whats a girl to do? Can't a girl just go to New York, get an amazing job, and live happily ever after? Help!


RESPONSE

Hello Asia! So glad you reached out! So, I have a similar story to tell. In 2008, after being out of school for four years, I decided (rashly) that I wanted to attend Florida A&M University, at the ripe old age of twenty-two. I had no plan, no financial aid, didn't know where I was living until the last minute, BUT I was dead-set on going. My family did not support me in this endeavor, which deeply hurt at the time, because I had no financial backing. To be honest, I was going on a hope and a prayer. Well, I went to FAMU despite my family's wishes and I enjoyed those three months (ha!). While I was loving the atmosphere and the new friends I was making, the time was approaching where I needed to figure out how I was going to pay for all of this. Most times, I was broke as hell, begging for folks to send me money and I was miserable inside. When my friends began to nestle in and discuss courses they were taking next semester, it hit me hard realizing that my "college days" were coming to an abrupt halt. While, I certainly don't regret attending FAMU, I do hate the fact that I wasn't smarter about how I got there. I wasn't thinking long term, at all. I am a very impulsive person and I don't tend to think about tomorrow, only today. God had a better plan for me though. I came back home, met my boyfriend in 2009, had two beautiful children, and continued my education in Chicago. While I do miss FAMU and wish that I could have finished, I know that wasn't my path. 

After saying all that, I want you to really sit down and evaluate things. Is it the best decision to hop up and just go to New York, just to potentially struggle? Or is it better to wait until you have saved enough money and you have secured a job there? Surely, I am not saying it is impossible to make it on a dollar and a dime. We hear stories everyday about how someone embarked on a new journey with little to nothing, and they made it work; often becoming successful. Also, I want you to think about what you will have to lose. When I left for FAMU, I had no children and no boyfriend; no real responsibility. Therefore, I felt as though it was a risk worth taking. Again, that is my personality, I am a risk taker for I believe it is the best way to live. I know that can sound somewhat contradictory, but if I have weighed my options and thought about what I've had to lose, then I take the risk after heavy evaluation. You only live once (YOLO), make it an interesting journey. If you have taken time and sat down to weigh the pros and the cons, and you find that the pros outweigh those damn cons, then take your ass to New York and live it up! You are young, ambitious, free, and a dreamer. You have to do these things while you have the chance. 

I truly wish you the best and I am here to support you whatever choice you make. I'm giving you a really tight hug and a slap on the butt! Love you, Asia XOXO

Disclaimer:
I must state once again that I am NOT a professional counselor or an expert in this field. I am just a person who would like to give general advice and words of encouragement to those who seek it. If professional help is needed, please contact the appropriate national help lines. If I feel that your story is one that needs professional help, I will suggest that you reach out to a help line and provide you with the appropriate contact information. Also, I am one person, so if submissions become overwhelming, please excuse me if it takes a while to post your story and a response.


Lauren K

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